A Christmas Market, Mulled Wine and an Unexpected Coaching Reminder
I spent a couple of days last week wandering around York Christmas Market with mulled wine in hand, twinkly lights everywhere and the Minster against the winter sky and, as often happens it struck me (as these things often do) how much coaching wisdom hides in ordinary moments.
Coaching insights don’t just happen in the Zoom room and they rarely arrive neatly on demand.
They show up in queues for hot chocolate, in conversations with stallholders, in the way we pay attention when something catches our eye.
And York had plenty to show me ……
Presence cuts through the noise
The market was packed. People were weaving in and out of each other, with families clustering around the food stalls and yet, in all that busyness, the people who stood out were the stallholders who were genuinely present with the person in front of them.
One woman selling handmade jewellery caught my attention straight away. She wasn’t rushed, distracted, or trying to juggle five customers at once. She simply gave me her full attention. In the middle of the bustle, she created a tiny pocket of calm.
That’s what great coaching feels like.
And in mentoring, I see just how powerful it is when coaches let themselves settle and truly be with the client. Presence does far more heavy lifting than people often realise.
Curiosity opens people up
A moment that really stayed with me happened at a knitted-hat stall. A woman was trying on two different hats, and the stallholder simply asked her,
“Which one feels most like you?”
It was such a gentle, thoughtful question. You could see her pause, tune in, and really consider it. Her whole expression changed as she shifted from “Which one looks best?” to “Which one feels right?”
That’s the power of curiosity.
It softens the space, removes pressure and invites people to listen to themselves more closely.
And coaching works the same way. When coaches let curiosity guide them instead of over-planning their next question, something opens up. The session feels more grounded and more spacious.
In mentoring, I’m always encouraging coaches to lean into curiosity rather than overthinking their next question. When curiosity leads, everything else flows more naturally.
Slowing down is often where the insight lives
Christmas markets have a way of making us hurry. There’s so much to see and taste and experience.
But the moments that stayed with me were the slower ones – listening to a busker sing a Christmas carol, watching a little boy make a serious decision about which tree decoration to choose, giving myself an extra moment before joining the queue for hot chocolate.
Coaching is exactly the same.
Insight usually shows up when we create enough space for it to land.
The pause, the breath, the moment we don’t rush in is often where the real shift begins.
This is something I support a lot in mentoring. Learning to trust the quiet moments is a game-changer for so many coaches.
People open up when they feel a genuine connection
At one stall, a woman selling bronze picture stamps shared part of her life story within a few minutes. And it wasn’t because we asked anything clever. It was simply the quality of the connection — human, warm and unhurried.
It’s the safe space you create, the calm you bring, and the fact that you’re genuinely interested that opens people up.
When people feel connected they naturally go deeper whether in coaching or mentoring.
Coaching wisdom is everywhere
Being in York reminded me that coaching wisdom is everywhere if we allow ourselves to notice it.
And as we head into the busiest stretch of the year, it’s a lovely reminder to slow down, be present, stay curious and trust the moments that unfold quietly.
If you’re ready to deepen your coaching in 2026, application calls for the next ICF Coach Development & Mentoring Programme are open. Click here to find out more and book a call.