Over the last couple of weeks working with my coaching clients a common problem has been coming up and it’s one of the biggest barriers to success. You might be experiencing the same as them or probably know of someone who does.
It’s been the feelings of anxiety, overwhelm and depression that are common at this time of year and that surface in different ways. It can appear that…..
Things are getting on top of you in your business or personally
It seems that you’re having set-backs all the time
Nothing seems to be going right
You can’t motivate yourself, let alone your staff
People around you are negative and it drags you down
You can’t seem to get enthusiastic about what you are doing
….. and so on and so on.
The glass doesn’t seem half full, it’s almost completely empty!
You will have heard me say it before that we get what we expect, not what we want and that’s exactly what happens in this situation. It’s as if you are typing ” what can go wrong” into your search engine and so you find all sorts of examples of the negative stuff and ignore what is actually going right. This focus on negative events sets us up for anxiety and depression and acts against our well being.
And the more it goes on the more difficult it can become to pull out of this mindset and then things just become worse.
One way to stop this from happening is to get better at thinking about and relishing what went well.
And all it takes is 10 mins a day.
So how can you do that? Using this simple, yet very powerful, technique that I first learned from my NLP coach about 6 years ago now and I still use it every day and teach it to my clients.
It’s effectively about changing what your unconscious, as well as your conscious, mind focuses on and the results can be dramatic.
So if you want to get out of a negative rut then this is for you…..
I call it ” Your Success Diary” and Martin Seligman, the world renowned Professor of Psychology, author, inventor of Positive Psychology, describes it in his latest book “Flourish”. He calls it the “What-Went-Well” or ” Three Blessings” exercise.
Here’s what to do……
Step 1 :
Buy yourself a special notebook that you will really enjoy writing in.
It is important that you have a physical record of your writings.
Commit to doing this 10 min exercise just before you go to sleep, every night for two weeks.
It may seem awkward or difficult at first but it quickly gets easier.
Each night write down 3 things that went well during that day.
The three things don’t need to be of earth shattering importance e.g. it could be that someone in the office made you a cup of tea just when you needed it , or that you went for a walk at lunchtime instead of staying at your desk. Just think of 3 things that were a success for you and write them down.
Next to each success, answer the question “Why did this happen?”
e.g. if someone in the office brought you a cup of tea, just when you needed it then your answer could be
” because they are thoughtful and good to work with”
Step 5 :
After two weeks notice the effect it has on you.
You will probably find that you are less depressed, happier and will want to continue with the exercise indefinitely.
I’d love to hear of your successes so please email me your thoughts and results.
Until next time,
with best wishes for your success,
Cath Daley Ltd.