Why I Don’t, and Won’t, Coach Myself
I was at an online networking event recently and we were chatting in a breakout room.
I was surprised when another coach said to me “You’ve been coaching for over two decades… surely you coach yourself now?”
And honestly? No. I don’t.
I never have and I never will.
Here’s why………
Coaching isn’t the same as thinking something through in your head.
It’s not journalling harder or asking yourself a few clever questions.
Coaching is a partnership.It takes place in a dynamic space where someone else is fully present to you—noticing, reflecting, gently refelcting the patterns you can’t see from the inside.
When I try to coach myself, I skip over the awkward bits.
I rationalise. I filter. I unconsciously protect myself from what I don’t want to feel or face.
And that’s not coaching; it’s self-preservation.
A good coach doesn’t buy into your stories.
They hear what you’ve glossed over.
They help you come back to what really matters.
I can’t do that for myself, not with the same clarity, honesty, or depth.
And to be honest, I don’t want to.
When I’m the client, I want to be fully present in the experience.
To feel, to explore, to unpack.
To not be “on my guard” or managing the process.
To let myself be seen.
That’s where the shifts happen.
And that’s why I choose to be coached.
Because if I believe in the power of coaching—and I do—then I have to trust the process enough to step into it myself.
I won’t coach myself.
Because I respect coaching too much to dilute it.
And I respect myself enough to know I deserve the real thing.
Coaching works best when we’re willing to be fully seen.
Not managing the process, not performing. Just present….
because that’s where the real transformation begins—on the other side of surrender.
As you think about coaching yourself…….
🌀 Where might self-coaching be keeping you safe… but stuck?
🌀 What are you not hearing when you try to be both coach and client?
🌀 Where in your own professional growth are you still trying to go it alone?
Until next time,
Cath
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