The Psychology of Flow: Why It Matters for Coaching Presence

 

There’s a particular quality to some coaching sessions that’s hard to describe but instantly recognisable when you’re in it.

Time seems to expand and your listening deepens without effort.

You’re not planning questions or checking yourself against a mental checklist because you’re simply in the moment.

This state is called Flow.

FLOW

Long before I became a coach, I was already working deliberately with Flow when I was an Advanced Skills Teacher. I used a simple Brain Gym technique to help students settle their attention and move into a state of Flow before learning and exams. It reduced anxiety, increased focus and noticeably improved their ability to think and recall under pressure. Even then, I was interested in how creating the right internal conditions allowed people to perform at their best, without forcing it.

The concept was first articulated by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who described Flow as a state of optimal experience where attention is fully immersed in the present moment, self-consciousness drops away and doing and noticing happen together.

When in a flow state, people pay no attention to distractions and time seems to pass without notice.

Sound familiar? It should because it’s remarkably close to what we call coaching presence.

 

What Flow Actually Is (and Isn’t)

Flow isn’t relaxation and it’s not peak performance in the “try harder” sense. It sits in a sweet spot between challenge and capability. If there is too much challenge the nervous system tips into anxiety, too little and we drift into boredom or become disengaged.

In Flow, attention is effortless. The brain quietens its background noise as the inner narrator that comments, judges and evaluates takes a back seat.

For us as coaches, this matters because presence isn’t created through effort but through attention that’s settled enough to stay with what’s unfolding.

 

Flow and the Coach’s Brain

From a psychological and neurological perspective, Flow is characterised by reduced activity in areas associated with self-monitoring and internal noise alongside increased coherence in attention networks.

If we translate this into everyday coaching language it means you stop making the session about you as the coach. When a coach drops into flow, there’s less internal commentary like “Am I doing this right?”, “Should I ask a better question?” or “What competency am I demonstrating here?”.

Instead attention is fully focused on the client’s words, energy and their ability to make meaning.Presence becomes natural rather than manufactured.

 

Why Flow Supports Coaching Presence

Presence is fragile under pressure. It’s easily disrupted by performance anxiety, getting stuck in your own head or a need to “do coaching properly.”

Flow takes the pressure out of it.

When you’re in Flow:

• Listening becomes embodied rather than technical
• Silence feels spacious rather than awkward
• You respond from awareness, not habit

Importantly, Flow can’t be forced. It emerges when certain conditions are in place and this is where coach development comes in.

 

How Coaches Create the Conditions for Flow

Flow is more likely when you:

• Understand the fundamentals well enough to stop thinking about “doing” them
• Trust yourself and feel comfortable and confident in your coaching
• Feel safe enough to stop performing and just coach
• Are stretched just enough to grow, without feeling overloaded

This is why mentoring, supervision and reflective practice matter so much. They reduce background threat, build internal trust and free up attention for the moment you’re actually in.

It’s also why presence often deepens as coaches mature. Not because they try harder but because their nervous system learns that it’s safe to stay open and let go of being in control.

 

Why This Matters More Than Ever

In a distracted, fast-paced world, Flow is increasingly rare.

And that’s exactly why clients feel the difference when a coach is truly present.

For me, understanding Flow helps to reframe presence. It’s something you either have or don’t have.

It shows up as your attention becomes grounded in the moment and self-focus eases into the background.

And when a coach finds that state, coaching stops feeling like something you do and starts feeling like a space you drop into.

That’s when the real magic happens.

Until next time,

Cath

P.S. If this way of thinking about Flow and presence speaks to you, it sits at the heart of my ICF Accredited Coach Development and Mentoring Programme.

We focus on developing how you coach – your attention, presence and confidence — alongside the ICF Core Competencies.

If you’d like to explore whether it’s a good fit for you then let’s have a conversation. Click here to book a call.