It’s well into January now and the new year hype about setting your goals and how wonderful it will be in 2015 has settled down a bit.
Now I don’t know whether you reviewed last year, maybe you didn’t have the time or the inclination!
But it is important to realize where and what went wrong so that we don’t make the same mistakes again and so we can learn from them.
but for some of us it doesn’t stop there.
Sometimes we dwell on the mistakes, failures and the negative aspects of life.
And as long as we continue to so, then that is what we will get.
The process of what you choose to focus on, and what you don’t focus on, determines what you experience in your life and what you don’t experience.
When you think about what it is that you want to achieve in your life, business, relationships- how do you phrase it?
Do you describe what you want or do you describe what you don’t want? Because it has a considerable affect on what actually happens.
Now you may have heard this before….. don’t think of giant purple hippopotamus in a tutu.
What happens? You think of a giant purple hippopotamus in a tutu!
Now some people will say, “no I didn’t “ but the thing is, at best it is a two part process. Your unconscious brain cannot process negatives directly.
What happens is that at some level you have to process the words and consider a giant purple hippopotamus in a tutu before you can not think of it.
So what? Well if you are thinking about not getting annoyed with someone what are you actually focussing on? That’s right, getting annoyed!
And that’s exactly what happens.
When you are saying to yourself “ I hope I don’t mess up in this presentation” you’re unconscious is focusing on messing up and that’s what you will do!
We get what we expect not what we want.
So if you expect to have an argument with a colleague that’s what you will get.
Consciously you might want something different but unconsciously your body language and your tonality will convey what you expect.
You may have heard that the meaning of only 7% of communication is through the words that we use, and there is a great deal of debate about whether or not that is true, but we do know that we convey and receive a great deal of information unconsciously.
This means that we actually get more of what we don’t want by thinking about it.
The key to getting less of what you don’t want
The key to getting less of what you don’t want is to change the way you think.
Here is a short exercise that will show you how it works ….
Think of a recent situation where you got what you didn’t want.
What were you honestly expecting to happen?
How did you know that was going to happen?
What were you saying to yourself just prior to the situation?
What did you feel?
Consider the same recent situation again.
What positive learnings can you take from it?
How can you use this learning in the future?
Think about a similar possible situation that may arise in the future.
Focus on what you want to happen.
Make this your expectation.
What are you saying to yourself when you know you will get what you expect?
What does it feel like?
How does it affect the outcome?
Changing your expectations will change the results you get.
You can choose to have positive or negative expectations.
You may want to think about which will serve you better in terms of the results you want to get because you can’t think about what you don’t want to think about without thinking about it. Think about it!
And in this way I guarantee you will get more of what you want and less of what you don’t want.
So what do you expect to get in 2015?
Until next time….
with best wishes for your success,
Cath Daley Ltd.
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